When living alone for the first time in your life, you are bound to have some brand new experiences. Sleeping in your house for the first time alone and knowing that you’re going to (hopefully) be the only one there all night; the first time your dry erase board falls off your refrigerator at midnight and scares you half to death; etc., etc.
Nothing beats the first time you come home and find a bug who has decided to move into your bedroom, who is of gigantic proportion.
I entered my bedroom after having dinner with some friends, ready to go to bed, when something caught my eye. What is that on the carpet? Is it a piece of fuzz?, I think to myself. However with a closer look, I recoil in fear!
That “piece of carpet” is ALIVE. Oh, and it kinda looks like a spider. How is this going to go down? As if it can get any worse, not only does it look like a spider, it also jumps.
Frantically I text like 6 people, “There’s a huge bug in my room.” I contemplate texting my ex-coworker who lives 5 doors down. He’s probably asleep, I think to myself. Also I’m not sure how his girlfriend would feel about that.
But in my mind, the best way to get rid of a bug is to have someone else kill it.
Think, Tiffany, think. What did Mom say about bug spray she left in the kitchen to kill ants?
I go to the kitchen to retrieve the bug spray, only then realizing that the sprayer needs to be assembled. I quickly run back to my bedroom and check to see if bug is still in the same position.
It is. Lucky me.
Why hasn’t anyone texted me back yet?!
After reading the directions several times, I finally figure out this sprayer contraption. I bring the bug spray back into the bedroom and take my stance. It’s not spraying. I then realize the sprayer isn’t turned “on.” I turn it “on” and do some practice sprays into the bathroom sink.
Oh but I wasn’t. One spray in and my nemesis jumps under my bed.
“Stop jumping!” I yell out loud, hoping my next door neighbor doesn’t hear me and think I’m a weirdo.
Now it’s out of sight. I’m standing in my bedroom with a big jug of bug spray and my iPhone flashlight on. I finally spot him again. *Spray, spray, spray* He’s jumping away some more. “Die! Why won’t you die?!” I say, half yelling, half very close to tears.
“This is why I don’t live alone!” I text in a group chat to my friends. “It won’t die!” I text to my other friends. No response. Just crickets…cave crickets to be exact.
I consider if it’s possible to sleep in any other room of my apartment. I don’t have a couch but that mushroom chair could possibly be comfortable, right?!
Several “spray and wait” sequences and 15 minutes later, sweet victory is mine.
Except it’s been an hour since this all went down, I keep checking to make sure it’s dead and I’m still too afraid to sleep.
Long Story Short: Living on your own is nice until there’s a bug.